Narcissists make you feel like you’re worthless and act like they’re better than you and everyone else. They emotionally and psychologically abuse you and then pretend you’re crazy when you react like a normal human. Sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone – narcissists have a way of keeping you around for decades and still abusing you.
Consider the following facts about narcissists.
- Narcissists can be charming, but they hide a sadistic and aggressive nature.
- They aren’t as confident as they seem.
- Narcissistic personality disorder manifests in grandiosity, selfishness, and lack of empathy.
- Narcissists are manipulative, egotistical, and often cruel.
- They get a feeling of superiority by making others feel inferior.
Why do narcissists often get away with their abuse?
Narcissists are experts at using emotional and psychological manipulation to get you to do what they want and to gain control over you. This makes them feel more secure, and when you become their primary source of narcissistic supply, it gives them a sort of emotional dumpster.
When you consider the typical narcissistic abuse cycle, it’s laser-focused at getting you “addicted” through trauma bonding.
Narcissists use cognitive empathy to make you feel special – like you are the most important person in their world. But they don’t have any emotional or compassionate empathy, so they have no problem tearing you down.
They also know how to make you feel unimportant – like you’re worthless, insignificant, and unimportant.
Intermittent reinforcement leads to trauma bonding
They will alternate their “good” treatment with their “bad” treatment – and this leads to you constantly striving to get the “good” treatment. It becomes your primary focus in the relationship.
So, the narcissist has your full attention, and anytime they’re bored, or you don’t do what they want, they attack you (the devalue phase) and often discard you repeatedly.
And the moment they think you’re about to give up on trying to get their “good” treatment, they will give you a little bit of validation to keep you hooked.
You’re elated and committed to staying longer as a result. This is called intermittent reinforcement – and it’s exactly why and how narcissists often get away with their abuse.
Sound like your life? Here’s help.
Here’s Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
- Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.
- Sign up for our free email newsletter service that includes a free guided recovery experience via your inbox.
- Use our narcissistic abuse recovery program finder to discover the right program.
- Start your narcissistic abuse recovery here with our free support system and program.
- Join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups!
- Join one of our private small coaching groups! (NEW groups offer person-to-person talks 3x each week, plus DM support all week. AKA: regular. life-changing support)
- Get our narcissistic abuse recovery app!
- Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
- Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and abuse.