Mental Illness Madness (Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Poem/Song)
One moment you’re nothing
The next moment you’re born
Dropped into a dark, angry, scary world
You’d much rather ignore
A mother’s paranoid toxic mental state
A father evil and psychotic with a deadly gun
One sister’s jealous dangerous hate
The other brainwashed, unaware and way too young
A life long friend’s betrayal and a trusted lover’s lie
Throw in two serial killer’s plot revenge
And there goes what could have been
My beautiful life
When everything you know to be sacred and true
Blows up in your face, pops like a balloon
It’s a rape of the soul, annihilation of trust
Destroying all reasons for living
But…go on you must
How does one come back from something like that
When dying seems easier than living in fact
And all efforts to exist fail in despair
Tell me, how does one come back from there
You gotta blame the Mental Illness Madness
You can’t begrudge the ill
What you need is forgiveness
Love, and more compassion still
And you know, climbing that mountain
Will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do
But who knows, facing that challenge
May well be, God’s perfect plan for you
Mental Illness by definition is the devil so real
A blackout of potential, depleting all one’s unique appeal
Try as you might to make sense of time n’ life lost
There is no price to make up such the cost
How much sadistic torment can one human mind survive
What’s the imploding limit before a pure heart resigns
I wonder, is real love and empathy even a true possibility
Cause In my life, that’s something I have never ever seen
The egoist opportunist will always sabotage the self
With money, hearts n’ minds n’ other things
They think will bring them accomplishments and wealth
So commonly narcissistic and self serving from the throne
They sit inside their castles barking orders and casting stones
You gotta blame the Mental Illness Madness
You can’t begrudge the ill
What you need is forgiveness
Love, and more compassion still
And you know, climbing that mountain
Will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do
But who knows, facing that challenge
May well be, God’s perfect plan for you
When everything you know to be sacred and true
Blows up in your face, pops like a balloon
It’s a rape of the soul, annihilation of trust
Sure takes the joy out of living
But…go on you must
How does one come back from something like that
When dying seems easier than living in fact
Each day that goes by takes another chunk out of me
Moment by moment, I pray for a little peace
(Chorus)
The Will is gone, the Will is gone
Everything I know to try
Seems to go so wrong
The Will is gone, the Will is gone
Everything I feel inside
Tells me, I’m not that strong
How am I supposed to fly
When I can barely stand
I know, I’ve never asked before
Won’t somebody help me if you can…
Sharon Feigenbaum copyright 3/18/2016
Editor’s Note: This amazing poem/song was submitted by a fellow survivor of narcissistic abuse. Want to submit your story? Learn more here.