“It’s always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile.” – Garry Marshall
I’m going to be really honest with you–when it comes to making mistakes, I’ve made my share. Probably more than my share–but the good news is that I am still alive, kicking and happier than I’ve ever been. And yet, I continue to make mistakes every now and again. But I’ve learned some things along the way that help me get through those tough post-mistake moments.
What To Do When You Make a Mistake
Taking a leap of faith helps you understand yourself better. Sometimes, though, the result isn’t what you were hoping for–but that doesn’t mean there was no value in trying. After all, you learned something from taking that leap and you moved toward your goal in the process, right?
And hey, more good news: while accepting your errors isn’t easy, it’s definitely possible.
Put these strategies into play the next time you make a mistake:
1. Admit it. As soon as you realize you’ve made an error, it’s wise to admit it. First admit it to yourself, and then to others who are involved. Although you may think that it will make you feel worse to own up to what you’ve done, you’ll actually feel relieved. Your sense of personal power will be renewed as you move forward and make peace.
2. Apologize if your mistake affected others. Accept that saying “I’m sorry” is an important aspect of the human condition. It’s likely you’ve received a well-deserved apology from someone that meant a lot to you.
Tip: An honest and open apology delivered in a timely fashion can mend relationships and soothe personal difficulties. When apologizing, you can have the most impact if you look the person in the eye and avoid mincing words. Say something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t call you like I said I would. I realize you missed having dinner with your sister because you were waiting for my call.”
3. Promise to do better next time. Whether you vow to yourself or to the person you wronged, take the next step after apologizing by stating what you’ll do in the future. Even if no one else is involved, you can promise yourself to act differently the next time. Using the previous example, you could add, “The next time, I’ll call you as soon as I know my plans have changed.”
4. Move forward with renewed effort. After there’s been acknowledgement and an apology, you can proceed ahead toward your goals. You can now feel unfettered, as if you’re beginning anew. In a sense, you are.
5. Find the silver lining. As odd as it may sound, something positive may come out of your misstep. And this happens more often than you might expect.
6. Recognize that your mistakes open your eyes to new knowledge. Some information can only be gained by “tripping” over it—making an error. Much new knowledge can be discovered in the course of something going awry. After an error, ask yourself, “What have I learned from this experience?” With mistakes comes progress.
7. Take only the positive with you and leave the negative behind. In the past, you may have avoided confronting your error or apologizing for it. You might connect a lot of negative thoughts and feelings to making a mistake. Remind yourself that your faux pas aren’t all bad. Focus on the positive outcomes of your blunder and allow the negative to fall away.
Because we’re human beings, we’re bound to make mistakes. By following these suggestions, we can learn how to accept our errors and proceed on with a renewed strength and determination. Accept your mistakes and continue on your quest for a successful life!
Supercharge Your Success: A Weekly Routine to Benefit From Your Mistakes
People who struggle to be successful frequently repeat the same mistakes over and over. The habit of repeating mistakes can easily be corrected. All you have to do is develop a weekly habit of examining your mistakes and coming up with better alternatives for the next time.
Just as a chain is limited by the strength of its weakest link, our success is limited by the quality of our worst decisions. Eliminating mistakes is a powerful way to become more successful in life.
Try this process for minimizing the prevalence of your mistakes:
Set aside some time once a week. Have a specific time each week that you use to look back and examine your week. Schedule it into your week just like anything else of high importance.
Look back at all the important events from your week. Consider every important interaction and decision you made during the week.
Reflect on your interactions with your family and the decisions you made related to them. How did you handle your kids? Did you have positive interactions with your partner?
Think about your financial decisions. Include your spending and how you managed with paying your bills. Investing decisions can be included, too.
What happened at work? How was your presentation? Did you hire or fire someone? Are you feuding with someone? Were you ever late for work? Did your boss yell at you?
Examine your health. Did you eat nutritiously this week? Did you sleep well? Did you get enough exercise?
Include anything else that seems important. Contemplate everything that’s important to you, including anything that involves your friends and neighbors.
Ask yourself what you could have done better. Where did you make mistakes? Go back over your entire week and consider how each situation could have been managed more effectively.
It’s similar to asking yourself what you would do if you could go back in time and live that experience all over again.
Odds are that you’ll have the opportunity to experience a similar situation in the future. Most of our lives are filled with routines and habits. There’s not a lot of novelty from week to week.
Look for trends in your behavior. We’re all prone to making similar mistakes again and again. Even in completely different situations, we tend to make the same sorts of mistakes.
Are you assuming too much? Are you too impatient? Are you inconsiderate? Are you acting without getting enough information? Are you ignoring your family?
If you can correct a trend in your decision-making, you can eliminate a lot of future errors.
Visualize yourself handling the situation in a more effective manner. Try to find solutions to challenging situations. Then, see yourself in the same situation, only this time you’ll take a new approach. Visualize things working out well.
This step is super powerful, so avoid skipping it. A few minutes can really make a huge difference.
Think about what you did well, too! Recognize those things and resolve to continue responding in the same way to those situations. Keep the good stuff and change the bad.
Your success in life will be enhanced by leaps and bounds if you simply take the time to eliminate your mistakes. Each week, you’ll become more and more effective as you make fewer and fewer mistakes. Success isn’t all about doing spectacular things. It’s just as much about not making spectacular blunders.
Avoid making the same mistake twice. Recognize your shortcomings each week and banish them from your life.
“[My husband] would go mental if I started dressing like a wife! He likes me when I’m a rock n roll kind of a girl.” ~Kate Moss
Look, I’m well aware of the controversy that was stirred up in the blogosphere when supermodel Kate Moss made the statement quoted above. But the woman had a point–and I don’t mean that all wives dress like crap.
I mean that many wives become a bit…complacent…after awhile. (I know because I’ve been there, too!)
Some women even justify walking around in sweats and tshirts day and night, week after week, and get offended when you suggest that they do otherwise.
Those women might as well just either stop reading now, or change their minds and prepare for a dose of tough love–because I’m about to drop some truth bombs.
So, I’ve been married a hundred years or so (ok, really, it’s closer to 15, but still). And I know that a lot of women in my position (and in fact, a lot of women in long-term relationships, in general) are likely to eventually slow down on the getting all dolled up.
“Kate Moss and I don’t have much in common, but I think she is quite right to avoid dressing ‘like a wife’,” writes Helen Kirwin Taylor. “By this, she means she’s refusing to adopt the slovenly uniform of tracksuit bottoms and shapeless tops so many women embrace when they no longer have to worry about snaring a man. I would never think about sitting down for dinner with my husband without slipping into something stylish and alluring, brushing my hair and applying lipstick.”
Helen, I am totally with you, girl.
Wives: Why You Should Still Care About Your Appearance
Obviously, if you want to be considered a hot wife, you need to consider how your appearance is perceived.
Sure, you might think it’s shallow–but my guess is that since you’re here reading this post, you know that this stuff goes a little deeper than one might realize at first glance.
I still get all dolled up on a pretty regular basis–in fact, I literally will not leave the house unless I look reasonably cute.
While my husband sometimes pretends this annoys him (because sometimes it takes me a minute to get ready), the truth is that he appreciates the fact that I care about how I look–because it makes me more attractive to him. I know this because he says so.
I also make an effort to look cute even when I’m working at home or just lounging around the house.
Why do I do it? Well, let me spell it out for you.
Because he works with tons of hot women (hello ladies!)
My husband works in a corporate office full of beautiful, stylish and intelligent women. While he would never say so, I know that if he came home to a frumped up mommy-stereotype each day, he might start noticing the ladies he works with for more than their fun personalities and ability to work well with him.
I don’t need to compete–I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, regardless of what I look like–but still, I prefer to keep his attention on me, so I make sure to pay attention to my appearance.
Because it makes me feel better about myself
The truth is that the primary reason I care about how I look so much is that I simply FEEL better when I look better. And I’m not alone–just think about it. When was the last time you felt particularly beautiful? Let me guess–it probably involved a really good hair day, or one of those perfect outfit days. Yep.
So, take care of your appearance and you feel better–then you become more self-confident, friendlier, more fun and generally HOTTER. It’s true.
Because it makes my relationship stronger
I know, appearance SHOULDN’T matter, but the fact is that it does. You see, it’s really easy to get so comfortable with each other that you forget to care what your spouse thinks about how you look. And maybe he forgets too–but most likely, he’s well aware of it.
Even if he’s one of those awesome guys who totally loves you and would never even consider straying, he still notices–and he will appreciate it if you make an effort to be attractive for him.
So, in addition to your self-confidence and your actual more attractive appearance, your better attitude will shine through, and that, my friends? That makes you super hot–and I promise you, he WILL notice.
While there is no one look that can be called hot, making an effort with your appearance on a daily basis can literally improve the quality of your life–and of your marriage.
What do you think? Do you make an effort to look HOT for your husband? Why or why not? What tips would you offer other wives? Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas in the comments section, below.