This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

This is How You Find the Strength to Go On After Narcissistic Abuse

Dealing with an a maligant’s manipulation in a relationship is so difficult. Yet for some reason, when it ends, we are devastated. We feel like our hearts are literally breaking.  It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. But how do you deal with feeling like you don’t have the strength to go on in the meantime?

Know that, despite the horrible pain you’re feeling right now, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. But how do you get through the most painful days during and after a relationship with an abusive narcissist? How do you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse, when you have been discarded (or even when you’ve left the narcissist yourself)? It can feel impossible, but there are ways you can heal and move forward toward creating the life you want and truly deserve. So where do you start?

This is how you find the strength to go on after narcissistic abuse.

Being involved with a malignant narcissist means you deal with regularly toxic behaviors, including narcissistic abuse and its various forms of manipulation, gaslighting, and in many cases, other forms of physical and psychological abuse. You lose the ability to even recognize yourself in so many ways – and you often even sort of forget who you are on an intrinsic level.

So often, survivors of narcissistic abuse find themselves feeling completely helpless after they are discarded by their abusers. So many have told me that they literally felt like they wanted to die – like they did not even want to keep going. It makes sense that you’d feel that way when you think about how cruel narcissists are to the people they claim to love.

Survivors often ask me questions like the following.

  • How do you find the strength to go on after breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist?
  • How do you get over a narcissist?
  • How do you find purpose in your life after narcissistic abuse?
  • What do you do in order to stop obsessing about the narcissist?
  • How do you get the narcissist to leave you alone?

Start the healing with these 4 Steps to Find the Strength to Move on After Narcissistic Abuse.

More videos to help you heal on this playlist!

How do you deal with a broken heart after narcissistic abuse?

Heartbreak is a pain like any other. It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. As much as I’d like to advise differently, there is no band-aid for a broken heart. Though it sounds cliché, time is the remedy needed for you to truly heal from such deep, wrenching pain. In time, this pain will go away. Between now and then, however, following a few basic tips might be able to make a difference in how you are feeling.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

Do you need help and support in your narcissistic abuse recovery process?

How can you get support in your healing? Start with your friends and/or family members who may understand and be willing to support you. If you don’t have supportive or understanding people around you, which is often the case for survivors of narcissistic abuse due to the fact that narcissists have a tendency to isolate you, you may need to look at some other options. Here are a few to consider.

You might also find these videos helpful:

Related articles

Top 25 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery FAQ

Top 25 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery FAQ


1. What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

2. What causes NPD? 

3. What are the characteristics or signs of a narcissist? 

4. Do narcissists sometimes have empathy?

5. Is it possible to change a narcissist?

6. Is narcissism a mental illness? 

7. What is narcissistic abuse? 

8. Can a narcissist ever change? 

9. Do narcissists love?

10. Can I love a narcissist? 

11. What is a narcissistic parent?

12. How do you heal from breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist?

13. How do you leave a narcissist? 

14. What is the best way to respond to a narcissist?

15. Are there more female or male narcissists?

16. What is gaslighting? 

17. What are flying monkeys? 

18. Why do narcissists cheat on you?

19. What is love bombing?

20. What is hoovering?

21. Will the narcissist come back after discard?

22. What is the narcissistic relationship cycle?

23. How can I get back at a narcissist? 

24. How can I move on after abuse?

25. Why is recovery from narcissistic abuse so difficult?

Related articles

How do you know when you’re ready to date again after abuse? With Richard Grannon

How do you know when you’re ready to date again after abuse? With Richard Grannon


How do you know you’re ready to date again after abuse? Richard Grannon and I share our thoughts in this video.

Some of mine:

First, you need to feel healed enough to not compare the people you’re dating to the narcissist – at least not to the “good parts” of the narcissist. It’s so easy to focus on what you loved about the narcissist after spending time apart. So often, when survivors meet a “normal” person, they feel like the relationship isn’t quite as exciting or interesting as it was with the narcissist. That’s because a “normal” person doesn’t always do the extreme highs and lows that a narcissist does, and because our dopamine receptors are sort of broken when we’ve been abused.

So you need to feel strong enough to recognize that and make up for it with intentional thought management.

You need to have taken the time to grieve the relationship appropriately – and in most cases, that will take 3 months to a year, depending on the person.

You also need to love yourself enough to recognize and set boundaries that are comfortable – and well-enforced. For me, that involves a few deal-breakers. As in, things that I absolutely don’t tolerate and will leave the relationship for. In my case, that means cheating, verbal/physical abuse and anything that would hurt my kids. If those things happen, I’m out – no questions asked. Outside of that, we can talk about it and try to work through it.

Next, you need to feel ready to meet someone new, but not “desperate” to do so. This way, you can (and you absolutely should) take any new relationship slowly enough to get to know the person and discover any potential red flags – and you won’t end up enmeshed before you know it. Be aware that “love” at first sight is nearly impossible.

Be sure you’re not feeling overly pessimistic, cynical, insecure, defeated, anxious, angry, martyred or exploited still – that’s going to cause you a lot of issues and problems with your future relationship.

You definitely want to be healed enough that you don’t inavertently try to make your next relationship sort of make up for all the pain you experienced from the last one.

If you try to date too soon, you might find yourself being hyper-vigilant, ready to catch any hint that the discard is coming, and seeking constant reassurance from a new partner who isn’t responsible for what happened to you. This will sabotage any potentially successful couple from the start.

What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed: The Pomodoro Technique in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed: The Pomodoro Technique in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery


Narcissistic abuse recovery is HARD sometimes – and it can leave you feeling very overwhelmed. When you feel like you have more than you can handle in your life, you might just feel like giving up! But in this video, I’m going to share techniques for dealing with the emotional issues that come with narcissistic abuse recovery – and then I’ll share a time management technique called the Pomodoro technique – and that will help you stay on top of everything else in your life.

Why You Feel Threatened by Other Women (And How to Deal)

Why You Feel Threatened by Other Women (And How to Deal)


Feel threatened when other women are around your man? Watch this. This is the TRUTH about why women feel threatened by other women – especially when they perceive the other woman as more attractive, intelligent or otherwise “better” than they perceive themselves. While the majority of my videos are aimed at all survivors of narcissistic abuse, today I’m focusing on women who are pushed into feeling threatened by other women in their relationships.

I’m talking about why narcissists cause you to feel threatened by people of the opposite sex and about why women specifically are challenged in this way.

Pin It on Pinterest