“Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.” ~Tim Allen
Can you tell when someone’s lying to you? It’s a power many women possess–a strong sense of intuition to let us know when something’s not right. But that intuition might do no good if you can’t tell exactly WHAT the truth actually is, though, right?
How Can You Get the Truth Out of Someone?
Good news! I’m about to teach you three basic techniques that will help you get the truth out of anyone who isn’t a pathological liar.
1. Use The “Good Cop, Bad Cop” Tactic.
This is one of the most popular lie-detecting techniques in the world. Cops have been using it for centuries or something. So how does good cop, bad cop work exactly? Simple.
Two of you will question, so to speak, the person under scrutiny. One of you will play the good cop while the other one takes on the role of the bad cop. The good cop tells the “suspect” that they are in good hands, that they can get out of the trouble if only they told the truth. And then the bad cop comes in to scare the person into complying.
In this kind of situation, the good cop commonly gets the confession. The good cop gives the person some reassurance that all will be well at last. The bad cop is just a means to an end.
2. Look Them In The Eye.
Another technique you can use to get the truth out of someone is to ask the person to “look you in the eyes.” This is very effective when used on people who are very close to you. Chances are that anyone you’re close to, say those you consider to be friends or part of the family, will feel terrible for keeping something from you and spill the beans–or you’ll be able to see it in his eyes, at least.
Ask them to look you straight in the eye when you ask an answer, whether verbally or by just meeting their eyes. When the person at issue can’t even meet your gaze, something is up. Get them talking–they’ll slip up eventually.
3. Stay Calm.
Telling a person that you don’t want any drama or that you won’t cause any problems is another option that might help you get the truth out of someone.
People usually lie or hide the truth because they’re afraid of what our reactions will be. If you assure them that you won’t get angry or won’t “punish” them, they’ll be more likely to open up to you.
(Queen Bee QT: Staying calm and promising a peaceful reaction works quite well on most men, but you have to follow through with the promise if you want it to work more than once. But if you “promise not to be mad” and then explode when he admits he watched p*rn or whatever, you can fully expect him to zip his lip next time!))
Knowing how to get the truth out of someone is a very powerful tool–so use it wisely!
What are your best lie-detecting tips? Share them in the comments section, below.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–getting the weight off does not fix your head. When you’re overweight or obese, it can feel like the solution–just getting off the weight in any way possible–but when you don’t fix the issues that caused the weight gain in the first place, it can be temporary.
Maybe you gain the weight back, maybe you succumb to another, lower-calorie addiction (studies have shown that people get addicted to sex, alcohol, drugs and more–all in an effort to avoid dealing with their issues), but in any case, it’s important to fix the psychological issues you’ve got going on while you’re working on getting your body in shape. You’ve got to get your head in the game before you can expect to be truly healed.
This is exactly why I started Project Blissful on some level–because I have lost and gained a ridiculous amount of weight over the years, but it never stuck until I figured out that I couldn’t just put a bandaid on my “issues”–the ones that sort of led me to gain the weight in the first place.
Besides being involved in a really toxic family situation for most of my life, I was also dealing with many of the same issues that we’ve all dealt with–low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness and lack of concern for my personal well-being, among others.
But whatever cross you bear, you’ve got to figure out how to drop it off at the next stop if you’re ever going to get and keep the weight off.
Dr. Lavinia Rodriguez, a psychologist and expert in weight management who wrote “Mind Over Fat Maatters: Conquering Psychological Barriers to Weight Management,” says that while weight loss procedures like bypass surgery and gastric banding can lead to quick weight loss, it definitely does not solve the issue.
“It’s understandable why someone who’s struggled with obesity for years would place all their hopes on bariatric surgery. Many patients think it’s their last resort. (And in some cases, it may be),” Rodriguez wrote in a recent Tampa Bay Times article. “But advertisements gloss over the tough realities of bariatric surgery. And even when the facts are given, many people are so eager to lose weight, they ignore what they don’t want to hear.”
Rodriguez said that people need to know some important things about weight loss–most of all that if you have “psychological issues connected to disordered eating, bariatric surgery will not eliminate these problems.”
Even more importantly, when patients regain weight, it’s usually because of psychological issues, rather than physical ones.
And it’s not always the dark, deep issues that cause the problem, but sometimes simple things like your attitude about working out, being a perfectionist and other common issues.
Rodriguez agrees with what I’ve always said–it’s all in your head. When you address those psychological issues and learn to change your mind, you can achieve long-lasting results.
What do you think? Is getting your head straight what you need to do to keep the weight off? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!