The Will & Jada Pinkett Smith Secret Guide to a Successful Marriage

The Will & Jada Pinkett Smith Secret Guide to a Successful Marriage

While many Hollywood couples tend to divorce, there are a few who really stick it out – and among the most famous are Will Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith

How Will and Jada Smith have been married so long

The rumored divorce of the couple has been an issue, but Mrs. Smith says it doesn’t bother her – she says she knows who she’s married to and has no worries. 

“Marriages go through shifts,” she tells Us Magazine. “And relationships go through shifts because in life, things shift. So people are automatically like, ‘What’s going on? They must be getting a divorce.’ Well, no. But when people feel those shifts and there’s a mystery, they have to fill it with something.”

Read more – You can be a hot wife like Jada Pinkett Smith! Check out How to Be a Hot Wife, right here. 

Sometimes, Marriage=Work

Mrs. Smith points out that marriage is a journey, one that takes real work and strength. And that’s where a lot of couples fail – they don’t realize that it’s not always going to be all hearts and flowers. The truth is that sometimes, marriage feels terrible – but if you can get through those tough times, you can come out stronger and happier together.

And Money Isn’t Everything

Mr. Smith says that a lot of people don’t understand that having money doesn’t mean your marriage is perfect. You’ll always have to work at it if you want to remain happy and in love. 

“I think a lot of people think that when you have money, that everything gets really easy, hell naw,” he said in an interview with Necole Bitchie. “Jada and I have been together for 17 years. If you look at it like a sports record, we are probably like 15 and 2.”

Keep Working to Deserve Each Other

Mr. Smith says that it’s easy to treat one another with love when you’re first getting started, but you’ve got to keep working on both yourself and your relationship, if you ever want to make it last. 

“When we got started, we both truly connected on wanting to be better,” Smith says. “That’s where it all started. There were other people that we were dating and other people that we were attracted to, but there was a commitment to constantly be better that was what we connected on.”

“Our whole world and relationship was that, ‘Hey, I know that I may not be all of that today but what I’m not going to do is lay around and not keep working to be better to deserve you,'” Smith says. 

Trust One Another, Even When the World Doubts You

Mrs. Smith adds that, despite the rumors of an affair, she trusts her husband. 

“Here’s what I trust: The man that Will is… is a man of integrity. He’s got all the freedom in the world,” the Gotham star told Us Magazine. “As long as Will can look himself the mirror and be okay? I’m good.”

She adds that, while some Hollywood couples aren’t on the same page, she knows that her hubby is always on her side. 

“When you can look in your man’s eyes and know that he’s holding you down and that he loves you,” she says. “Here’s what’s real: I’m not the kind of woman that believes a man is not going to be attracted to another woman.”

Commit to Yourself First

“The central idea of love is not even a relationship commitment, the first thing is a personal commitment to be the best version of yourself with or without that person that you’re with. You have to every single day, mind, body, and spirit, wake up with a commitment to be better. Don’t make that same mistake tomorrow that you made today,” says Mr. Smith. 

Commit to Allowing and Encouraging Your Partner’s Individual Growth

Room to grow is important in any marriage, and Will Smith says that’s one of the secrets to his and Jada’s 18-year marriage. 

“The idea is that you are two people together, but in that process, the marriage cannot be a prison,” he said in his Necole Bitchie interview. “There has to be a freedom that allows a person to grow. A person has to be allowed to make mistakes, and a person has to be allowed to become and grow without the threat of punishment.”

Know Your Deal Breakers

In my marriage, we’ve got three deal breakers – no cheating, no physical violence and no hurting our children. 

The Smiths have a different perspective on this, according to Mr. Smith. 

“I think that in the concept of our marriages because of our own insecurities, we lay it out in a way like, ‘Hey, that’s a deal breaker,'” Smith says.  “I hear people talk about the concept of the deal breakers and it’s really in conflict with loving somebody.”

Divorce Cannot Be an Option

One last hint about successful marriage from Will Smith: if you’re in an otherwise healthy (read: non-abusive) marriage, there is one simple way to stay married. 

“What I found is divorce just can’t be an option,” Smith says. “It’s really that simple.” 

On Balancing Independence and Marriage

As evidenced by the super-successful and happily married Smiths, it’s clearly possible to strike a blissful balance between your independence and your marriage. You can find a way to make them work together. This will create a stronger relationship that makes both you and your spouse feel fulfilled.

Here are some ideas to get the communication flowing and make the positive changes you need to in your marriage. 

Discuss your need for independence. A relationship suffers if one person feels trapped and isn’t able to share ideas. This leads to resentment and anger building up to a dangerous level. You can avoid these issues by talking about your needs with your partner.

It’s important to have an open dialogue about your desire for more independence. First, reassure your partner that you still love them more than ever and want to spend time with them. However, you need space and time to grow as an individual.

  • You can share that you need to develop your own hobbies or activities outside of the home and relationship.
  • You can still do activities as a couple, but your own interests don’t have to be neglected.

Plan time with your partner. Despite what a lot of people seem to think, marriage doesn’t create the obligation to spend every second with your partner. Plan to spend some time with your partner and other timesfor pursuing your other interests.

This will help you develop your independence and feel freedom without hurting your marriage.

Find time alone. The time you spend alone can help nurture your independence.

Do you crave a few hours with a good book and no distractions? Do you want to take a long hike alone with your thoughts? These types of activities can help you feel free and give you space from your partner.

Find time for friends. Spending time with your friends can be a fun way to find your independence again.

You don’t have to force your partner to attend every chat, meal, or event with your friends. It’s normal to spend some time without your spouse while you visit with your friends.

Give each other room to handle challenges. It may be tempting to act as a savior and try to fix all of the issues in your partner’s life. However, it’s crucial to give each other space to handle difficult situations on your own. Your partner may not want you to interfere. You can still support each other, but you can also give each other room.

Enjoy your own hobbies. You don’t have to share every hobby with your partner. Although you can enjoy hobbies such as skiing or hiking together, you can also find other activities to do on your own.

  • Consider the hobbies you liked before marriage. Did you create your own paintings in a small studio at home? Did you take cooking lessons at a local school or learning center? Do you miss the dance class you participated in before you got married?
  • You can do hobbies on your own without hurting your partner. First, discuss your need for a solo activity and share why it’s important to you. Then, create a separate list of hobbies you can do as a couple, so your partner doesn’t feel neglected.

You can create a balance between marriage and your desire for independence. It requires time and effort from both sides of the relationship, but that time and effort can actually bring you closer together – just ask Will and Jada Smith. 

 

What are your best tips for a long and happy marriage? Share them with the QB community in the comments section. 

What Do Jada Pinkett Smith, Shaun Robinson and Meryl Streep Have in Common?

What Do Jada Pinkett Smith, Shaun Robinson and Meryl Streep Have in Common?

“I want to feel my life while I’m in it.” ~Meryl Streep

Pinkett-SmithWhat do Jada Pinkett Smith, Shaun Robinson and Meryl Streep have in common (outside of being in the entertainment industry, anyway)?

Well, according to what I’ve been hearing, there’s one obvious factor: each is regularly standing up for herself and what she believes – and often, for other women. 

I don’t know about you, but I call that BRAVERY. You want examples? Okay. Check these out.

  • Robinson to Leave ‘Access Hollywood’ to Join Kerry Washington for Hot TV Deal To Empower WomenI love seeing a celebrity who really cares about PEOPLE, and that’s exactly what I believe Shaun Robinson is showing us all right about now. According to the Inquisitr, Robinson will leave her regular post on ‘Access Hollywood’ in order to join actress Kerry Washington in a new project that’s designed to empower women. Check it out and let me know what you think. Inquisitir.com

STRONG WOMEN: Being Brave the Easy Way

Being brave is hard sometimes – especially when we’re venturing into an unknown territory. If you ask me, it’s all about how you look at things – but today’s post isn’t all about my opinion or experience. 

What would you do if you had no fear? Imagine standing up for your convictions and taking risks to go after the things that are important to you.

There are two major schools of thought about courage. You might act boldly because you are fearless. On the other hand, you might feel anxious, but forge ahead anyway because you decide that the rewards are worth it.

Either way, courage is a skill that you can cultivate. Use this 3-step plan to conquer your doubts and face the things that scare you.

FIRST: Build up Your Faith

1. OWN IT. Value yourself. Know that you’re worthwhile. Bravery comes down to making yourself vulnerable because the rewards justify taking the risk. Ask yourself how far you’ll go to live out your dreams.

2. CALL IT. Call on your strengths. Believe in your abilities. Reflect on your past accomplishments and understand your potential.

3. CONNECTION. Connect with the divine. Reach out to something bigger than yourself. Set aside time each day for prayer and meditation. Discover what your faith tradition teaches about the nature of courage.

NEXT: Team up With Others

1. Look for partners. We’re more powerful when we act together. Surround yourself with friends and allies who share your aspirations. Put together a team that complements each other’s abilities. Be a collaborative leader who engages others and encourages innovation.

2. Select inspiring role models. It’s good to have heroes. Find a mentor who has the qualities you want to possess. It may be your college professor or a character in your favorite novel.

3. Share moral support. Sometimes the most valuable things we give each other are intangible. Empathize with your friend when she is struggling to start dating again after a divorce. Be thankful when she validates you the next time you’re steeling yourself for a sensitive conversation with your teenage son.

FINALLY: Practice Makes Perfect

1. Distinguish between feelings and actions. We usually need to act if we want our fears to dissolve. Showing yourself that you can succeed even when you feel anxious teaches you to tackle challenges. The good news is that it becomes easier each time.

2. Take small steps. Start out with something modest. Schedule that dental checkup you’ve been putting off.

3. Master your timing. Gambling wisely means recognizing the opportune moment. Determine when you have the resources to move ahead. Your small business is more likely to thrive if you write out your business plan and line up investors.

4. Manage stress. Staying fit prepares you to be more adventurous. Protect your body from the consequences of chronic stress so you have greater energy and strength.

5. Think positive. Resolve to be optimistic. Stay hopeful by focusing on what you have to gain. Picture your boss being impressed by your proposal to save money on shipping costs and shorten delivery times.

6. Hang in there. Have the courage to persevere when success fails to come instantly. Difficult tasks may require sustained time and effort.

7. Be sensible. At the same time, you want to pick your battles. Being courageous is different from being reckless. Look out for your safety and the wellbeing of those around you. Plan ahead so you’ll be ready to deal with the outcomes of your decisions. Celebrate your victories and learn from your mishaps.

Cultivate the courage to push beyond your comfort zone. It’s okay to feel a little afraid as long as you keep working towards your goals. Being brave empowers you to enjoy a richer life and accomplish more.

Meryl_Streep_At_The_2014_SAG_Awards_(12024455556)_(cropped)

Forget About Regrets!

3 Books to Help You Become a Stronger Woman

Inspiration From Will Smith: Just DECIDE!

Inspiration From Will Smith: Just DECIDE!

“Make a choice. Just decide what it’s going to be, who you’re going to be, how you’re going to do it. Just DECIDE! And then from that point the universe is going to get out of your way.” ~Will Smith

I have always liked Will Smith. I first liked him back in the days of The Fresh Prince of BelAire, the days of Parents Just Don’t Understand. Not only was he hilarious, smart and fun to watch, but I really GOT his message back then–parents really DIDN’T understand! (Of course, now I see the opposite side of things, as a parent myself!)

Since then, I’ve enjoyed most of his music and many of his movies. He’s a great musician, a great actor, great comedian…a great family man who isn’t afraid to say it (unlike many of his Hollywood colleagues.) And let’s be honest–he’s not too hard on the eyes either! But I digress…

As I’ve grown up, I’ve watched Will do the same. I’m consistently impressed with him, and even more so since I’ve begun to understand his life philosophy. Once again, I really GET his message, and this time, I understand it on a whole new level. Plus, I love that he and his beautiful and talented wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, are raising their children with the same philosophy–and it’s already showing as the Smith kids are already actively following their individual dreams.

Like me, Will believes that every single person alive has unlimited potential, and can choose to do, have and be whatever he or she wants. So today, I thought I would share a great video I found that sort of sums up Will’s life strategies and philosophies. If you need a little inspiration, take a look at the video below.

What do you think? Can you use any of Will’s advice? Let me know in the comments!

This post was originally published on InPursuitofFulfillment.com. If found anywhere else, this content is illegally copied and should be reported.
Inspiration From Will Smith: Just DECIDE!

Inspiration From Will Smith: Just DECIDE!

“Make a choice. Just decide what it’s going to be, who you’re going to be, how you’re going to do it. Just DECIDE! And then from that point the universe is going to get out of your way.” ~Will Smith

I have always liked Will Smith. I first liked him back in the days of The Fresh Prince of BelAire, the days of Parents Just Don’t Understand. Not only was he hilarious, smart and fun to watch, but I really GOT his message back then–parents really DIDN’T understand! (Of course, now I see the opposite side of things, as a parent myself!)

Since then, I’ve enjoyed most of his music and many of his movies. He’s a great musician, a great actor, great comedian…a great family man who isn’t afraid to say it (unlike many of his Hollywood colleagues.) And let’s be honest–he’s not too hard on the eyes either! But I digress…

As I’ve grown up, I’ve watched Will do the same. I’m consistently impressed with him, and even more so since I’ve begun to understand his life philosophy. Once again, I really GET his message, and this time, I understand it on a whole new level. Plus, I love that he and his beautiful and talented wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, are raising their children with the same philosophy–and it’s already showing as the Smith kids are already actively following their individual dreams.

Like me, Will believes that every single person alive has unlimited potential, and can choose to do, have and be whatever he or she wants. So today, I thought I would share a great video I found that sort of sums up Will’s life strategies and philosophies. If you need a little inspiration, take a look at the video below.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5nVqeVhgQE?fs=1]

What do you think? Can you use any of Will’s advice? Let me know in the comments!

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