“I make an active effort to remain a positive role model to kids. They need people to show them there’s another way.” ~M.C. Hammer
Throughout your life, you’ve probably looked up to at least a few men you’ve known. Maybe your father had a calm, gentle nature when you both went out fishing. Maybe your 10th grade history teacher made being intelligent look really cool. Whoever they are, the men in your life matter!
Men: wouldn’t you like to be that male role model that boys and young men aspire to be like? The good news is you can!
Use these strategies to become a great role model:
- Go after your dreams. Reflect on what you’ve always wanted out of life. Sure, it’s changed over the years. But what is it right now that you want to achieve? The importance of pursuing your passions is a wonderful message to send to younger people.
- Show self-confidence. When you feel like you can do anything you set your mind to, you’re said to have confidence. If you’re confident, it’s probably evident to everyone around you. Young boys and teens in particular look up to men who demonstrate an air of “I can do it.”
- Hang out with your buddies on a regular basis. When you allow time in your busy schedule to socialize with your friends, you’ll have a more relaxed way of moving in the world.
- Have a sense of humor. Usually, boys and young men can relate to each other best when there’s humor and joking around involved. Let that fun side of you come out, especially when you’re around younger people.
- Demonstrate a willingness to spend time with kids. Whether they’re your own kids, your nephews, or your friend’s kids, give of your own time to be there for them.
- Be open about your work. By nature, kids are curious about what kind of work men do and how that work is accomplished. If a young boy or teen expresses an interest in what you do, share with him about some of the projects you work on. You might be the only man in that boy’s life who has taken the time to talk just to him about the subjects he’s interested in.
- Reach out. Consider spending some time at a local Boys and Girls Club, YMCA, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, or other social agency that works with kids and teens. Even devoting two hours a week of your time can make a dramatic impact on someone’s life.
- Do something physically active. The research shows that boys learn best when they’re actively doing something. So, take a boy fishing or running with you. Build a birdhouse together or ask him to help you wash your car. A kid can pick up a lot from taking part in an activity with you.
- Give positive feedback. Practice giving simple, positive comments. Any maturing person craves this type of care and attention. Statements like, “Wow, you did a fantastic job catching that fish” or “You’re a pretty good runner” can plant seeds of confidence that will grow stronger over the years in young people.
- Avoid macho expressions of physical strength. Although some kids might ooh and ahh if you can bench-press 200 pounds, your role as a male role model is to illustrate that men have all kinds of different talents, skills, and interests. Since most kids have most likely already been exposed to macho stereotypes, find other ways to express yourself to them.
Being a great male role model will bring enormous personal rewards and, sometimes, external accolades.
You’ll feel satisfaction and pride in knowing you’ve contributed in some way to the healthy development of another human being. Put your efforts into becoming the best male role model you can be. Your life and the lives of others will benefit significantly.
Who are the great male role models in your world? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.