Editor’s Note: Please enjoy this retro post, written in 2008. It still rings true today.
I hear a lot of married folks complaining because their spouses just aren’t as romantic or sweet as they used to be. In fact, I may have complained of the same thing once or twice in years past…but that was before.
Now, I’ve learned a few things. While my husband hardly ever comes home on his white horse, his arms overflowing with dozens of fragrant red roses, he’s not so bad. In fact, he’s pretty good.
The older I get, the more I’m able to recognize the romantic ways my husband tells me he loves me. Like, for example, because we have three kids and didn’t have a babysitter, we spent our anniversary at home, eating the dinner I’d cooked, with our kids.
Not exactly romantic, right? But then, the next day, my wonderful husband came home for lunch, surprising me with Chinese takeout. When he walked in the door, he handed me the bag and said, “Happy Anniversary, baby.” So, while I giggled when he made the gesture, it was still a genuinely sweet thing for him to do.
Another thing he does to tell me he loves me is spend time with our children. Yes, I know…that shows he loves THEM, right? Yep. But every mom, especially those of us blessed enough to stay home with our children, could use a break now and then. So when he notices that I could use one, he makes sure to entertain the kids so that I can have a few minutes to myself.
Yesterday, I went out to run some errands and took Bill’s car since it was behind mine in the driveway. While I was out, I filled up his gas tank. He didn’t ask me to do it, and certainly didn’t expect me to do it–but I thought, it would save him the time the next day and it would be a nice thing to do for him. Certainly, it was a small gesture, but it was one small way I let him know that I love him and care for him.
My point is this: happily married people have lives full of love and romance…but romance changes when you’re married with children. Roll with the changes and remember to show your spouse that you appreciate them. Doing so lets them know that you love them, in your own special way.
So today, spread the love!
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.