“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Do you accept yourself for who you are, or are you the type of person who doesn’t feel comfortable in their own skin?
Does it kind of feel like you’re always in self-improvement mode? Like you are always trying to be someone else?
Feeling comfortable and accepting yourself is important if you want to lead a fulfilling and happy life. More than that, if you constantly focus on what’s wrong with you, you’re definitely going to find more things to complain about.
Try loving yourself instead – that makes it much easier to be happy as well as to manifest the good things you want in your life.
Here’s the thing – you might be ready to quit reading this post about now, ready to chalk me up to being another one of those quacks. But hold up! Not so fast.
It can happen. You can learn to make things go your way. And it all starts with one simple thing: the ability to fall madly in love with your very own self. No joke.
I promise you, you’ve got to love yourself before anything is ever going to change in your life. You might have to fake it a little at first. That’s okay. Just do it – because it’s totally worth your effort.
Ready to start changing your life?
Let’s take a look at how you can learn to know and love yourself like never before.
Self-Assessment: What Do I Want?
Start by reading over the following questions. Take a few minutes to jot down the answers in a notebook or document.
- Who is the person that you want to become? Describe the ideal you in detail.
- What are the things that you really care about?
- Is there anything or anyone who you may lose if you start to live the life you truly want?
- What one step can you take today to get closer to becoming the best possible version of yourself?
Write your answers out in detail. This way you have a full description of the person you want to become and why.
What to Expect When You’re Accepting (Yourself)
During this journey you also need to understand and accept that nobody is perfect – and that means all of us. We’ve all got our faults, and we’ve all gotta learn to live with them.
So, now that you’ve made the decision, it’s time. You’re finally ready to begin living your life the way you want to, and the way you deserve to!
Learn to Love Yourself
Sure, it sounds like it’s easier said than done, but what would the world be like for you if you were totally, madly, head-over-heels in love with yourself?
Maybe there are parts of yourself that you are extremely happy with, and of course, there might also be those that you hate.
Love Your Quirks
You have to stop hating on yourself and get busy changing your perception.
If you have habits that can be changed, great! That means you’ve got a place to start.
If you just have quirks, they’re just part of your personality. They identify what is unique about you, as a person. You need to accept and love your quirks!
I always say they’re just part of my charm.
In daily practice, the best place to start is to do the things that you can do – and to focus on the things that really make you feel awesome. Those are also the things that kind of show the world who you really are.
So if you’re itching to speak on something – then speak on! Never let the approval or disapproval of others stand in the way of your speaking your mind. You’ve got to be true to yourself if you’re ever going to be really happy.
Each night before you go to bed, ask yourself the following questions.
- Was I the best possible version of myself today?
- Did I make the right choices?
- What could I have done better?
- What was the brightest moment of my day?
- What is the perfect vision of my perfect tomorrow.
Fall asleep with your perfect tomorrow in your mind’s eye. It’ll help you to begin to manifest the life you really want, because you’ll be drawing that beautiful, positive energy toward yourself.
Remember to be brave – don’t let fear prevent you from speaking your truth or doing what you need to do to be happy.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be rude about it – and you should always speak in love, whenever possible. Hate doesn’t foster the kind of change any of us really want.
Like I said, you might have to fake the whole “OMG I’M SO IN LOVE WITH MYSELF!!” thing for a minute – and that’s okay. Because once you master the art of “faking it,” you’ll be on the way to MAKING IT.
Maybe you won’t do the whole screaming it to yourself thing, either. But you’ve got to find a way to realize that YOU are a person who is worth that kind of love, and you’ve got to give it to yourself before you can get it or give it to anyone else.
I promise you, it won’t be boring, and it’ll be worth it when you see your life begin to resemble the one you really want. Don’t you think?
What do you say?
Check out Angela Atkinson’s books at BooksAngieWrote.com.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.