“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” ~Ralph Marston
In my life coach certification classes, I learned a really cool technique called “The Miracle Question” that you can use to figure out exactly what you want in life – or at least to more clearly define a goal.
So, when a client is in my office or in an online session and we’re trying to figure out what direction to take our time together, I’ll ask The Miracle Question.
The Miracle Question
“What if you woke up tomorrow morning and found that a miracle had happened and life was perfect? Your goals have all been met and everything is ideal. What does that look like?”
That question often leaves a person stumped, partially because it’s so hard to imagine waking up to such a miracle. And so I help them dig into even the smallest details of their version of their perfect life – starting with nice, bite-sized pieces.
The Miracle Question in Bite-Sized Pieces
Take a few minutes to consider how you would live your life if you had everything you needed.
- Go back to school?
- Start your own company?
- Become a philanthropist?
- Buy your own island?
Without limits to your resources, there aren’t limits to your options. So you’d better think big, my friend.
I’ve found in my coaching practice, as well as in my own life, that this simple exercise can be an excellent way to determine your life’s purpose.
If all obstacles were removed and there was literally nothing and no one standing in your way, what would you choose to do?
- Who would be in your life?
- Would you be alone or married?
- How many friends would you have?
- Describe your friends.
- Describe your neighbors.
- How many children would you have?
- If you dream of owning your own business, describe your employees and clients.
Where would you live?
- Would you stay put or move to the beach?
- How many homes would you own?
- What color would your dining room be?
Consider the geographical location and the actual dwelling. There are hundreds of castles for sale at any time. You’ll need a butler, though.
What would your typical day be like?
- What time would you get out of bed?
- What would you do first?
- How would you spend your day?
- How would your evening be spent?
- How much free time would you have and how would you spend it?
- Who would you see?
- Would you play golf every Thursday?
- Would you race cars on the weekend?
Okay, so now you know exactly what you want to do – and for the record, in case you wondered? That’s exactly what you should be doing.
But remember – knowledge is only power when you apply it. So what can you do to make it happen?
Regardless of the current state of your resources, there’s always a first step toward your goal that you can take – and a second, third and so on. Each step will help build toward the next. Eventually, you’ll babystep your way there.
COACH TIP: The first step might be as simple as finding out what kind of educational opportunities you’ve got around you, deciding to look for a better or higher-paying job that either gets you closer to your ultimate goal or helps you fund it. Who knows? Maybe it’s not too late for you to become the rockstar you’ve always wanted to be – is it time to sign up for those guitar lessons?
With every step, your understanding of the situation and your resources to help fund and/or facilitate it will grow.
Celebrity Inspiration: Just consider billionaire Warren Buffett. Did you know that his humble beginnings in the business world started with a simple paper route?
Now he’s often noted as the richest man in the world – or at least one of them.
Good news – most likely, you’re already past the whole paper route thing – and your dreams might not be quite as lofty as becoming the richest man in the world. So what does that mean? Well, you can SOOOOO totally do this. Yep. It is, in fact, scientifically possible.
Like just about anything else in life, you can sort of change your perception now and watch your reality go with it. So if you can sort of “pretend”you have unlimited resources, then you can start to find solutions to challenges.
By imagining you have nothing standing in your way, you can open your mind to all the possible solutions.
Maybe you will find a solution that requires additional resources, but give yourself a chance to make it work. Turn obstacles into opportunity!
Those with unlimited resources can still struggle, so having unlimited resources isn’t a guarantee- it’s all about how you see it.
Focus on the abundance in the world and never forget that that many of the most successful people in the world started at the very bottom with not even a couple of nickles to rub together.
Believing that nothing can stand in your way and living in accord can help to determine your life’s purpose, your dream existence, and create a new set of solutions. Imagining that your resources are plentiful will open new possibilities.
You’re limiting yourself right now. What would you do with unlimited resources? What would you do if you were UNSTOPPABLE?
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.