Skeptics will tell you that the law of attraction is just a bunch of hocus-pocus. Some will even claim to have tested the law, and they’ll tell you that it just doesn’t work–even though many quantum physicists, philosophers and teachers say otherwise.
Consider the case of Ben, the 32-year-old single man who claims that he desperately wants to get married. He says he’s always looking for Miss Right, and that every time he thinks he’s found her, something prevents the relationship from continuing–one or the other finds a reason it can’t work.
Ben believes that if the law of attraction worked, he’d already be married with a couple of mini-Bens running around. So, he figures it’s all a lie–he’s not getting what he wants.
What’s Not Working For Ben
The law of attraction is neutral–it knows no good or bad. It just IS. You don’t get what you WANT–you get what you FOCUS on–what you believe, think about and speak about.
So, when you focus on any particular thing–good or bad–that’s what you attract.
Our skeptic (who claims to want to get married but who focuses on the fact that every relationship he gets involved in fails) is in fact using the law of attraction successfully.
What? He’s using it successfully? Really?
Take a minute to think about this. Ben’s attracting what he focuses on–what he thinks about and says and believes to be true. After all, the vibration he’s sending out into the Universe is “I am a failure in my relationships with women. Every woman I find is wrong for me in some way.”
So, Ben’s getting exactly what he thinks he’ll get–a long line of missed opportunities and unsuccessful relationships.
What Ben Should Do Differently
If Ben wants to find Miss Right, he needs to focus on using the law of attraction to his advantage. First things first, he needs to lose all the negativity about his previous relationships. He should take the time to be grateful for the gifts and experiences he received from each one, and forgive himself and his former girlfriends for any negativity that may have occurred during those relationships.
Next, he needs to understand exactly what he’s looking for in a woman. This may seem very obvious, but oftentimes, we don’t really KNOW what we’re looking for. So in Ben’s case, maybe he could write a detailed list of the qualities that his ideal Miss Right would have to help him figure it out. In any case, he needs to ask for what he wants, very specifically.
Ben needs to BELIEVE that he will find his Miss Right. He needs to FEEL the feelings of having the woman of his dreams, and he needs to be grateful for her BEFORE he meets her–because he needs to recognize that she IS out there, just waiting for him to find her.
And then, he just needs to be open to receiving her, and to take inspired action as appropriate. With a simple change in perspective and minor adjustments to his thoughts and words, Ben can use the law of attraction to his advantage.
How About You?
Do you ever find yourself wishing things in your life were different? Thinking that no matter what you do, you can’t get ahead? We’ve all been there–but here’s the good news. Just like Ben, you can change your life by simply changing your mind.
My challenge to you today is to identify a negative perception that is holding you back, and to change it. So, for example, if you’d like to have more money in your life, quit focusing on being broke–and start being grateful for the abundant flow of cash that’s coming toward you right now. Really BELIEVE that you’re getting what you want. Remember the old saying–as within, so without. What you think, say and believe truly is is what you’ll receive.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.