Have you ever thought about the boundaries you had for yourself and your life before you met the narcissist versus the ones you have now, or that you had during the relationship?
Wait. Before you answer that, let me clarify something.
I’m not talking about the fun or silly “I’ll never wear bell bottoms” kind of boundary here (had it, crossed it, can’t wait to do it again, y’all).
I’m talking about the serious, intrinsic, deep down in your gut, “gotta stick to it or your tummy will hurt” kind of boundary.
So, let me ask you – have your basic personal standards changed (or been altered) as a result of a relationship with a toxic narcissist?
And, while we’re asking questions – if you’re unfortunate enough to have a narcissistic parental figure or to have been in the relationship longer than you should, do you even really know what your personal boundaries are, or have they been defined for you?
Narcissists have a way of always pushing your boundaries, sometimes even as a way to amuse themselves when they get bored.
No, I’m not kidding and that is NOT an exaggeration. I’ve been told by more than one narcissist that they just “like to mess with people,” or that they “intentionally start drama to see what people will do.”
They think it’s funny. But sometimes, their agenda is more calculated than “just to amuse myself,” and that’s when you’ve got to be especially cautious.
And that’s because, when it comes to dealing with a narcissist on the regular, you’ve got to recognize that a certain amount of conditioning happens to all of us – even and maybe especially those of us who are very intelligent.
You might find yourself in a panic if you have to stand up for yourself or to say “no” to someone – and you might even have physical symptoms that include dry mouth, dissociation (where you get kind of confused and foggy) and you might even feel dizzy, nauseous or plain old anxious.
And, of course, this is exactly what the narcissist wants, because it allows them to remain in control.
This allows the toxic cycle to continue and repeat. In this video, I’ll fill you in on how to set boundaries with narcissists and difficult people. Setting boundaries in relationships is one of the first steps to healing codependency.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.