Toxic Narcissists: The Attacker Comparison

Written by Jenney Moore

Think of the basic scenario of the “stranger attacker” for a moment…

You’re walking down the street when suddenly a stranger approaches you and violently attacks you. Not much pre-planning or strategy involved. Completely random. No association with you; you were in the wrong place at the wrong time…once and then gone.

We call this criminality.

Now consider the attack by intimate betrayal abuse. This person worked their way in with insidious intent under a mask of trustworthiness….into your home, your inner circle, your finances, your mind, your choices, your conception of yourself and of people you’ve known for even decades. This person methodically twists and maligns your very psyche, brutalizing you under the guise of “love” and “partnership”–and repeatedly does so on purpose over long expanses of time.

Which attacker is worse—the one who chooses violence with no forethought, or the one who plots and plans cruelty and hides it behind a veneer of I love you??

↪️And is the next victim “better” than you? Would you “miss” the attacker in the street?? Would you long for the attacker to return?

Think this through.. the betrayal attacker is the far more vicious perpetrator.


  • Jenney Moore

    Jenney Moore is a lifelong resident of the Pacific NW, and a survivor of a 25-year abusive marriage. She stayed as long as she did simply due to being unaware of personality disorders. “I’d never even heard the term, and was incredibly naïve…at every promise he made to change, I tearfully bought in again and again”, she remembers. Finally leaving in 2012, she now works giving support in multiple Facebook abuse victims’ support groups including one she and several fellow admins started at New Year of 2019, and works as a senior administrative assistant for a major utility company. She is a singer/musician, visual artist, fitness enthusiast, and shares her home with her daughter and son-in-law.

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