Triggered? Dealing with Criticism After a Toxic Relationship

Written by Angela Atkinson


Toxic relationships with narcissists make us very sensitive to criticism. But some criticism is positive – it’s constructive and helpful. It’s hard to learn to be open to constructive criticism for us – but we also have to learn how to sift out the not-so-helpful stuff.

So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or losing weight. But we are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because we are trying to change or trying something different.

Over time we have been conditioned into believing the narcissist‘s opinions and think they hold more weight than our own feelings. We do not want to be judged. If you want to break old habits you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control.

This is your life! There is nothing wrong with a little criticism – if it’s constructive, that is. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about? If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve.

If your intuition tells you they are full of it, then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths! Don’t be afraid to have criticisms of yourself. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you do not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.

Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Narcissists and other toxic people have fed us information over the years that might have been tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years. Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want.

It is time to let go of the criticism and start to intentionally grow forward so that you can create the life that you want.

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