Toxic relationships with narcissists make us very sensitive to criticism. But some criticism is positive – it’s constructive and helpful. It’s hard to learn to be open to constructive criticism for us – but we also have to learn how to sift out the not-so-helpful stuff.
So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or losing weight. But we are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because we are trying to change or trying something different.
Over time we have been conditioned into believing the narcissist‘s opinions and think they hold more weight than our own feelings. We do not want to be judged. If you want to break old habits you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control.
This is your life! There is nothing wrong with a little criticism – if it’s constructive, that is. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about? If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve.
If your intuition tells you they are full of it, then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths! Don’t be afraid to have criticisms of yourself. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you do not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.
Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Narcissists and other toxic people have fed us information over the years that might have been tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years. Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want.
It is time to let go of the criticism and start to intentionally grow forward so that you can create the life that you want.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.