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What if you were wrong and you aren’t dealing with a narcissist?

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4 Responses to What if you were wrong and you aren’t dealing with a narcissist?

  1. You’re right. A duck is a duck no matter how it walks.

  2. so if he would say I apologize but then say but you disrespected me and you hurt me and you this and you that. Sorry I hurt you but ,……
    Does that mean he is not a narcissist??? cause he said sorry or I apologize???

    • Nicole,
      Whenever someone says something and then says, “but…..”, it pretty much erases what they just said. “I’m sorry for upsetting you, but when you do…”, that apology has just been wiped out. It reeks of placating you so now they can start blaming you all over again and tell you that you got your apology and that’s clearly not enough for you and blah blah blah.

      • I just realized I didn’t answer your question. Sorry about that. It takes a lot more than someone apologizing and then saying, “but…..” to be a narcissist. When the term, narcissist is used, that’s a reference to someone who has narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. What you’re asking is impossible to discern from a sentence. However, it’s definitely blaming and not accepting responsibility for his behavior and like I said above, placating you. If anything, I’d say he’s not really sorry because he thinks that you’re the problem. That’s why those communication skills are really important. Such as, “When you do such and such, I feel like you aren’t taking my feelings into consideration.” The most important thing is how do you feel when he apologizes and then throws out the blame? How do you feel around him period? That’s what you want to be asking yourself and not whether or not he’s a narcissist. Hope that helps.

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