Many people have been victims of gaslighting without even being aware of it. You may have been a victim of it as well. How would you have known? Firstly, let’s go over what gaslighting really is and then you will be able to determine if this is something you have been a victim of.
What Exactly Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a tactic that someone will use in order to become more powerful that causes you to wonder about your sanity. It is pure brainwashing. Many narcissists, abusers, and cult leaders use this tactic, as well as dictators. However, they know exactly how to do it and they do it slowly and subtly – so it kind of sneaks up on you before you realize it’s happening.
Why is it called “gaslighting” anyway?
There was a movie in 1944 called Gaslight in which a man used this tactic on his wife to the point that she thought she really was losing her sanity. Let’s now go over some examples of gaslighting.
1. Gaslighters Are Liars
Anyone who is gaslighting a victim is excellent at lying and they will also deny that they had ever said something even if you can prove them wrong. An example of this is a girl at high school who was bullying another student viciously. And one day she was nice to the other student, and once this kept continuing the student asked her why she was all of a sudden being nice. The bully denied that she did anything wrong and made the student look crazy for accusing her of bullying. She said she would never do such a thing, even though it happened.
2. Anyone Or Anything That Is Special To You Is Used As Ammunition
If someone is gaslighting you, they will use your prized possessions or those who you love and care about as ammunition. This can also apply if you worked hard to achieve a high-status career role. For instance, someone is one of the best surgeons around. However, someone who is gaslighting them would tell them that they have no business being the best surgeon around, let alone being one at all.
They would go over the surgeon’s negative traits to the point that the would make the surgeon question his or her worth. That can easily cause them to lose confidence in what they do which can be quite dangerous for them and their patients if they allow the gaslighter to continue.
3. Gaslighters Use A Variety Of Tactics To Wear People Down
Gaslighters know that their tactics are working if they slowly wear their victims down. They will purposely cause confusion to their victims in terrible ways. They can cut their victims down and all of a sudden unexpectedly say something positive about them. They then can make accusations towards their victims without any reason.
For instance, a man has been gaslighting his wife for a while. He puts her down constantly, but all of a sudden he starts praising her for the delicious dinners she cooks. Then she will start to think he really is not so bad. Then all of a sudden he accused her of cheating on him which she never did. This is leaving her confused and worn down, and fearful he will end up doing something worse.
If you are dealing with anyone who has been gaslighting you, these are the signs and examples. The best thing to do is to get these people out of your life and you will need some professional help with doing so safely. Not sure? Take our gaslighting test.
About Miriam Slozberg – Miriam Slozberg is a Canadian author and a mom to three children – two human and one furry. She has always had an interest in the spiritual side of life. She received her astrology certification in 2006. Miriam has a personal and updated outlook on spirituality in this day and age. Miriam combines her skills, sensitivity, and knowledge into every project she works on. She has written two Spiritual based books as well as an ebook on social media influence. Miriam is currently working on a few writing books so keep an eye out for more. Miriam is also a sufferer of depression and is putting a lot of energy into bringing out awareness about depression. She wants to see the stigma disappear and the only way that can happen is through awareness.