Okay, I’ll admit it. I cannot get enough Sex and the City. It’s funny, because when the show first came on TV, I didn’t watch it. I think this may have had to do with the fact that it was on HBO, and the fact that I heard it had a lot of sex scenes. And while I enjoy a good sex scene as much as the next person, I didn’t really understand this magic that others knew about Sex and the City. I assumed it was a poorly written erotic cable drama show that would have no bearing on my life.
But during the last season of Sex and the City, the show was syndicated to network stations, and the sex was slimmed down to a daytime TV level. I accidentally watched it once, and was instantly hooked.
The amazing fashion, the strong friendship of these four strong and beautiful women…the shoes…New York. And of course, let’s not forget Mr. Big.
This show is seriously the stuff of which legends are made. It helps women of all ages to recognize that we ALL feel “that way” sometimes, no matter how glamorous or sophisticated we might be.
Miranda is the sensible and intelligent but secretly a little bit insecure side of all of us, while Charlotte is our inner good girl who wants everything to be just so. Samantha, of course, is our inner sex kitten, and the part of ourselves that is uninhibited, open…sexual. She is the part of us that we lose sometimes in a marriage, especially after having kids.
And Carrie, well…Carrie is simply fabulous. She is sort of a culmination of all three of her friends’ personalities, with some creativity and neurosis thrown in. Quite honestly, she is the one with whom I most strongly identify on many levels. (Hey, she’s even a writer!)
So when the Sex and the City movie hit the theaters, I knew I had to see it. I called all my friends and set up a girls’ night out, only to learn that I was the only one really interested in seeing the movie. Visions of a martini and champagne filled evening with the girls were dashed in a moment, but were replaced by a karaoke night instead. I didn’t mind, I had a blast.
But still, I hadn’t seen the movie. As time went on, I considered going by myself, but then who would I lean over and whisper to during the good parts? Finally, I settled on waiting for the DVD.
Well…yesterday my neighbor brought the DVD over for me to watch…and guess what people? I have added yet another movie to my “movies I’ll watch again and again” list.
So what did this movie teach me? Well, without spoiling it for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, besides all of the wonderful things that go naturally along with Sex and the City, the main message for me was a bit Shakespearean. To thine own self be true, the movie said to me.
And this is why I chose to blog about Sex and the City today. Because, strangely enough, it fits in with what I’m trying to do here. Like the ladies of the City, real men and women often find themselves trying to be something that they’re not, something they don’t even want to be. Why? Because someone else wants them to–be it society, family, a lover, religion, or some other outside force.
If we try too hard to become something we’re not or don’t WANT to be, we squash ourselves, and we lose a very intrinsic part of US. We forget who we are, and we finally become someone we aren’t even sure we like.
We can only be happy when we recognize what WE want to be and take charge of that, do something to make it happen. Maybe it’s only something very small, like trying a new look or writing in a journal, or maybe it’s something huge, like taking that promotion and moving out of the state. Either way, we must be true to ourselves in order to understand ourselves. We must figure out what our passions are and find a way to experience them in our lives.
And those of us who are parents? We must think outside of the box, and find a way to nurture our souls while we raise our families. I know it seems impossible at times, but if you make the choice to do it, you can. Just start…start today and do one thing to help you work toward your dreams.
If you’re a writer, sit down and write in your journal or spend fifteen minutes on your computer. Jot down your thoughts and don’t edit yourself. If you’re an artist, do something creative today. If you’re a movie fan, see Sex and the City (or any other DVD you might enjoy), or even take yourself to the movies today.
Any little action you take to move yourself closer to living with passion may be all you need to change the flow of your life to a more positive one. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose?
Learn it, live it, love it!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.