What’s the best way to deal with a narcissist in a toxic relationship? To go no contact, of course.
But what if you can’t go no contact?
It’s hard to imagine, for some people, but the truth is that not everyone has the ability to leave or go no contact with the narcissist. At least not right away.
Maybe they’re in your family, or maybe they’re your boss. You may be financially dependent on them, and leaving them would mean financial ruin for you or your family.
It’s possible that you’re dealing with financial abuse – or any number of things that might stop or slow you down when you try to leave the narcissist.
Heck, it’s also possible that you’ve tried going no contact with them in the past and it didn’t work out—maybe they stalked you, harassed you, threatened to hurt themselves if you left them, or worse.
So how do you deal with a narcissist when you can’t go no contact?
If this is the case for you, it can be incredibly difficult to find a way forward when someone is holding power over you in one way or another. But there are things you can do to help. Watch this video for additional information on dealing with a narcissist when you can’t go no contact.
Try these simple tips for getting through the day without letting the narcissist’s tactics get under your skin:
Journal or Keep Notes So You Don’t Forget What Really Happened
Keep a journal of everything that happens with this person. Write down every interaction, every word spoken between the two of you (and any witnesses), and anything else that comes up as relevant information about how this person operates in their relationships with others.
This will help build up a body of evidence that backs up your claims against them if necessary (for example: if they threaten to sue).
Create a Support System
Get support from friends who understand what’s going on and have been through similar situations before—they’ll know what resources might be available to help. Alternatively, consider joining a narcissistic abuse recovery support group or getting coaching.
Build Strong Boundaries
Give yourself permission to set boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about something or spend time with someone, that’s okay!
You don’t have to do what other people want or expect from you just because they think it’s “normal.” You are allowed to have your own preferences and values.
Recognize and Label Gaslighting and Other Manipulative Tactics
Learn how to recognize gaslighting tactics when they happen so that you know when the narcissist is trying to manipulate or control you. Learn how to call them out on their behavior so that they don’t get away with being abusive.
Ignore the Guilt Trips
Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by guilt-tripping (e.g., “You’re always leaving me alone!”) and pity-baiting (“No one cares about me!”). Focus on your own needs rather than those of others—and remember that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, as they say.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
- Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.
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- Join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery support groups!
- Join one of our private small coaching groups!
- Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling.
- Get a therapist who will work with you online. Check out our guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse.