My oldest son, Cameron, has started He’s super excited about writing, and says he wants to use his blog to practice. He asked me to help him set some things up, and then asked me to let people know his blog was out there. So here we go, I’ve fulfilled my promise. 🙂
At any rate, I started thinking about it, and it’s pretty clear to me that Cameron is interested in writing because I’m a writer. While I had a moment of anxiety about the idea of him following in my footsteps, I let it pass.
I worried that he may be neglecting his own passion to try out mine. But, I reasoned with myself, I’d never even tried to push him in that direction. He went of his own accord. And, I decided, he was able to change his mind if he wanted. Maybe writing is his thing, or maybe he’s just testing the waters.
Well, of course you know where my mind went next.
I realized that in directly imitating this behavior of mine–writing–he is teaching me a lesson of sorts. I’ve said it before, but I suppose this reinforces it more than ever.
Children learn what they live…and live what they learn.
Such a simple phrase with such a ginormous sentiment behind it. At that point, of course, my paranoid side kicked in and I began scrolling through all of the less than perfect behavior I may or may not have exhibited in the past.
Just short of having a panic attack, I realized that I was worrying for nothing. First, while my behavior has been far from perfect, I’m certainly not a terrible example for my kids in most respects. Second, even if I had done something less than perfect in the past, I couldn’t change it now. I’d have to just release any old guilt and move forward, knowing I could do better every day.
So, bottom line. Recognize that your speech, body language, actions, and emotions affect the people around you–and are how you communicate with the world about who you are. Your children will begin to develop their lifelong personalities based on their experiences in the first few years of life.
Think about your children as adults. Who would you want them to be? How would you want them to remember you? Now, here’s the fun part. Figure out a way to make that happen. Be the person (and the parent) you want your child to know you are. Doing so will improve both your life and theirs. Can’t beat that!
Learn it, live it, love it!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.