Today is the very first day of the rest of your life. Today, you get to decide exactly who you are, what you’ll accept and how your day will go. You are powerful and you are in charge. Now, let’s do this.
Create Rules For Your Life That Serve You Well
Having rules that govern your life, behavior, and choices might seem confining and restrictive. But there’s a profound freedom that comes from living by a set of rules that you’ve chosen for yourself. You can refrain from toiling over as many decisions.
It’s pretty easy, really.
You just follow your own rules.
For example, let’s say you had the rule that you’re never going to lie to your partner. Because that’s a rule, you never have to ask yourself whether you should tell the truth. And you don’t struggle to keep track of which lie you told him or her–fact is, you know what you said because you said what was true.
Bam–huge amount of stress–gone! When you follow the rules you make and never go rogue, you avoid the drama and the emotional drain. In the case of our example, you simply tell the truth and get on with life. Easy–simple–underrated.
How to Create Life Rules That Work FOR You
Develop your own set of rules for each aspect of your life. Rules provide the framework for having a more productive and stress-free life.
Need help creating a unique set of rules for your own life? Check out this example for some inspiration.
1. I always go to bed and get up at times that provide me with the opportunity to get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep.
2. I refrain from checking email before 10 AM or after 4 PM.
3. I refuse to answer the phone when I’m spending time with my family.
4. I tell everyone in my family that I love them at least once per day.
5. I accept full responsibility for all outcomes in my life, both good and bad.
6. I read a minimum of 30 minutes per day.
7. I speak to all of my friends at least once each month.
8. I meditate every night for 10 minutes before I go to sleep.
9. Before bed, I make a list of the most important items to complete the following day.
And so on.
Why You Need the Rules
Each week, we all make choices that result in guilty or remorseful feelings. But we also make tough decisions that we know are correct. Having a list of rules for your behavior makes it easier to make wise decisions with less mental turmoil.
Your rules can move you closer to your goals, as well as remove frustration from your life.
More Help: Tips to Flesh Out Your Life Rules
1. Make a list of your most important goals. It’s helpful to have goals related to your finances, health, family, and personal accomplishments. If you know your goals, you can develop rules that support them.
2. What are your values? When you’re behaving in a manner that’s congruent with your values, you’ll be much happier and more successful.
3. What obstacles stand in your way? How do you waste time? What are your weaknesses? Rules that eliminate or minimize the challenges in your life are worthwhile.
4. What example do you want to set for your children? If you have children, what do you want them to see when they watch you? They’re always watching, even if you think they aren’t.
Most of us are striving for a greater degree of freedom, and rules seem like a limit to freedom. However, you free up a lot of mental resources when you make important decisions beforehand. If your rule is to exercise every day, then you can avoid having to spend 20 minutes deciding whether or not to exercise. You just do it.
Assignment: Draft Your Personal Life Rules
Take the time to make your own set of rules. The number doesn’t matter. Start with a couple and add more as you see fit. Make some rules for yourself in order to set yourself free.
- Take a few moments to come up with a working draft of your personal life rules.
- Document the rules, either on paper on electronically.
- Do this exercise in your personal journal (online or offline) and/or your blog.
- If you choose to publish your exercises (and I truly hope that you do–I feel like it’s sort of an announcement to the Universe about your intentions to create positive change in your life), please send me the URL on Facebook so I can share it!
Alright, that’s it. Pretty simple, right? Let’s do this! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and/or your URL in the comments or on my Facebook page.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.