In the brief detour, we’re going to take the next step.of the Writing Your Own Story series, we discussed identifying and releasing negative self perceptions. And now, after a
Once you have released the negative perceptions about yourself, what will you have left? Hopefully, a lot of positive ones. Even so, by clearing all of the negative thoughts and perceptions about yourself, you may find that your slate feels a little blank. Your self-perception “vessel” may be in need of a refill, so to speak.
It might feel exciting and like a great opportunity–or maybe it feels a little scary to you.
After all, you now get to decide how you want to perceive yourself. As you believe, you become (especially with a little inspired action.)
How cool is that, right?
Ok, so by now, you’ve cleared out the old negativity and are ready to become the YOU of your dreams, right?
Who is that YOU? Do you know who you want to be?
If so, then begin to become that YOU right now. Believe that you will be who you want to be and ACT AS IF you are already there. Believe that you are there–claim it as your own. You may have to work for it, but if you take inspired action, it doesn’t feel much like work.
What if you’re not sure who you want to be?
First, sit down and think about your relationships with others. Grab a sheet of paper or pull up a word document (or hey, a blog post, if you want.) What do you think when you look in the mirror, both literally and figuratively? Consider the following questions.
1. What kind of people am I drawn to?
2. What qualities do these people have that I enjoy? What qualities do they have that I don’t like?
3. Are these qualities that I have, or would like to have? Or are these qualities that compliment my own?
4. What messages have I accepted from others about who I am? Which have I rejected?
5. Are these messages accurate? If so, do I want them to be?
By understanding what you find attractive (and unattractive) in others, you can begin to understand what you like (and don’t like) about yourself. Inevitably, the qualities that you are most attracted to are those you possess (or want to possess.)
And, of course, once you figure out which qualities you like and want to possess, you’re on your way to filling your “empty vessel.” Embrace the qualities you lovea
My challenge to you today is to continue actively releasing negative self perceptions, and to begin to believe that you can become what you want to be.
- Breaking Through: Do You Believe What You Think You Believe? (inpursuitoffulfillment.com)
- How to Find Your Happy Place Even When Life Sucks (inpursuitoffulfillment.com)
- On Creating Personal Change: Get Your Copy F-R-E-E Today! (inpursuitoffulfillment.com)
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.