I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I find the idea of asking for help can leave a bad taste in my mouth–no matter how much I need it.
Our society teaches us that we should be super-human–able to hold down a full-time job (or two), raise a family, maintain a marriage, friendships and more–all while looking positively fabulous.
We’re always looking for new ways to save time, do more, be more–always trying to improve, find ways to just BE MORE than we are.
But here’s the thing. There are only so many hours in each day, and you’ve gotta spend a few of them sleeping. It’s a fact.
Another fact: a single person cannot possibly know everything, cannot possibly excel in every area–and most importantly, a single person cannot hold the world on his or her shoulders.
But don’t worry–there’s a simple solution. Just share the load, friends.
Read closely: It’s okay to ask for help. Repeat it to yourself: it’s okay to ask for help.
If you have confidence, think independently and make your own choices in life, you probably prefer to figure out things for yourself. And like me, because you’re so self-assured and/or driven, you might not like to ask for help, even if you could really use it.
Whether we like it or not, every one of us could benefit from time to time by accepting a hand from someone else.
And when you ask for assistance, other people also stand to benefit in ways you might not have considered.
Contemplate these reasons why you may want to ask someone to help you, even if you find it challenging:
- Accomplish your goal. For example, if you need to get to that job interview and your car is still in the shop, ask a friend to drive you. If you have a goal you want to achieve and you can accomplish it with a bit of help, then ask for and accept assistance.
- Prove you’re human. If you’re full of confidence and seem to always do everything right, people can easily put you on a pedestal. However, when you request aid from others, they realize that even someone like you falters once in a while as you’re trying to carve a path through life. This can be really inspirational.
- Set a good example. This applies to co-workers, friends, and family members. If you just go straight to the point and request a hand as soon as you recognize you’re going to need it, you help to de-stigmatize the whole idea of getting help. When your friends and family face a challenge, they’ll think, “He didn’t hesitate to seek out some extra help right away when he needed it and that’s so smart. I’m going to do it, too.” And now, you’ve been helpful to them. Good Karma points.
- You give others a chance to help you. Most people feel very good about themselves when they are able to extend assistance to others. You’re allowing others to feel those rewarding emotions whenever you request a hand from them.
- The level of stress you’re experiencing will drop. It can be very stressful when something goes wrong. Anxieties and worries develop and persist. The longer you worry about the situation, the worse you feel. Getting help means you can avoid all that distress.
- Develop a true appreciation for others. You’ll love seeing concrete proof that others want to see you be successful in life.
- Enhance your relationships. When you request aid from a friend or relative, that person feels emotionally closer to you. After all, if you feel comfortable enough to reach out for help, that’s quite a compliment to the other person. Plus, when the person comes to your aid, you’ll recognize how much that person really cares about you.
- Reciprocation feels great. Doing something as thanks to the friend who helped you will bring pleasure to both of you.
- Be an efficient “manager” of your own life. You can either spend time, emotional energy, and hours of lost sleep trying to figure an issue out on your own or you can ask for help and get it quickly taken care of. Which method is more efficient?
My point? Giving and receiving assistance can enrich your life, in more ways than you might have imagined. You’ll strengthen your relationships and be a better person for it, at the very least. So what are you waiting for?
Do you have trouble asking for help? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.